M: “Can you call my phone? I can’t find it…Oh here it is, it was on vibrate.”
F: “I bet it was. You’re the only chick I know whose phone runs on D batteries.”
3/21/13
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It’s Beard Season Again!
Whaaat? Who are we kidding, beard season lasts all year long. BUT, it IS time for the Second Annual East Coast Beard and Mustache Championships!
And, once again G&G will be repping hard at the event. These girls will be working the registration table, measuring beards and getting them all organized for your viewing pleasure.
Since the 2012 event overcrowded its venue, the competition is being held at the TLA this year, and it’s coming up fast! Get your tickets HERE or at the door, and join us Saturday, March 30th!
“Judgement” by Rosea Lake
3/12/13
“I don’t think I could work for PPA, I’m too cool. They’d be like, ‘Your ticket quota’s down.’ ‘Oh, I don’t know man, I mean everyone’s just parking perfect today.’”
-Mike G.
Rhoda and Joe’s Divorce is Ruining My Life
Listen, I’ll freely admit that I get a little too wrapped up in TV shows. Especially the oldie but goodies, because, as they say, “they just don’t make them like they used to.” Over the last year I’ve worked my way through the complete Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore series, and was a little depressed that they were over and I would never, ever see a new episode of my beloved characters. Then, I discovered “Rhoda,” a spinoff starring Mary Tyler Moore’s spunky friend, played by Valerie Harper, and my life had purpose again.
While I loved Mary dearly, I’d always felt a deeper connection to Rhoda, the quirky, perpetually single, comic best friend. So I was pretty excited about this. I grew even more excited as I watched Rhoda file for unemployment and struggle to find a job, and fall in love with a gorgeous hairy chested manly man with his own business, who came complete with an ex-wife and a child. Because I have also done all of these things in the past couple of years! We are the same! Rhoda and Joe moved in together, and got married, and moved into a new apartment, and have a little spat now and then, but were oh so happy. I was ecstatic. I just wanted everyone to love each other forever.
So imagine my horror when I began the third season only to find that it opens with Joe dropping a bomb on Rhoda. He needs some time to himself, some space, maybe they should try a separation. WTF Joe!?! Rhoda is devastated, but there’s nothing she can do, Joe’s already made up his mind. He says he misses her, and still cares for her, and is still more than happy to sleep with her one night when she stops over his new apartment to bring him some of his stuff. He just doesn’t want to be married anymore. So stupid. He says he never really did want to remarry, but that Rhoda had pressured him into it. RHODA IS LIVING MY WORST FEAR.
So even though the show is now depressing me rather than filling me with elation, what else can I do but follow Rhoda’s lead and just keep on truckin’? We’ve got two more seasons to get through.
3/3/13
Customer: “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you’re a Temple Journalism grad and you work at a coffee shop?”
G&G: “Yeah…”
Customer: “I’m a Temple Journalism grad and I ended up homeless last year.”
“Brogurt” – Sounds Like SNL Sketch, Is Actually Real Thing
Oh geez peez. It’s been clear for awhile now that the advertising and marketing world’s new love is aiming “lady stuff” at boys. Hence “Dove For Men,” “Doctor Pepper 10″ with “10 Manly Calories” and “Vaseline MEN.” Just like women need pink power tools, seems all you have to do is put “men” in the name and turn the packaging black (or sometimes navy blue) and viola, it’s for boys!
And now you guys have your very own yogurt. Because no self respecting man would be caught dead with a Yoplait in his hand.
Introducing “Powerful Yogurt,” a “Greek yogurt for the active man.” Boasting 25 grams of protein to the average 12, this is yogurt that will put hair on your chest. Sure, you’re still eating Stevia sweetened, Blueberry-Acai yogurt, but it’s in a black container with bull horns on it, so you’re good. Not too surprisingly, the nearest retailers of this stuff to G&G headquarters is in Jersey, because if anyone is in constant search of their “inner abs” it’s those shore meatheads.
More manly products after the jump:
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2/26/13
S: “God, I just want some really awesome naked pictures. Like, I want to pose in some edgy high end fashion magazine with a tiger or a peacock.”
C: “I bet there’s an app for that.”
On Nudity
I’ve recently taken to running without a shirt on at the gym. The first time I did it, I was overheating on the treadmill and just wanted some relief. And whoa baby did I get it. The feeling I got running shirtless was so incredibly freeing that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t done it before. I was tempted to take my pants off too, but I’m pretty sure that’s frowned upon. Not only did it cool me down enough to inspire me to run longer, but I also really enjoyed watching the muscles I’d worked so hard to sculpt flexing and straining in the mirrored walls as I ran.
Because I just love nudity. I like being naked, I like seeing other people naked, I used to work at a place called Naked Chocolate, and I drink Naked juices regularly. And while yes, some nudity can be incredibly sexy, the sexualization isn’t what draws me to it. I enjoy nudity the way an artist would. I like to see the muscles moving under the skin with each movement, I like the splattering of freckles, and the way hip and collar bones jut out. I love watching the Summer Olympics-not for the feats of athleticism, but to see the bodies in motion. I’m just completely obsessed with the incredible engineering of the human body.
I guess my first “Whoa, nakedness!” moment happened when I was studying abroad in Russia and took part in one of the country’s beloved traditions – the banya. A few of us visited the public bathhouse once a week, where nudity was required. Women of all ages, shapes and sizes from all over the city were just naked together. No judgement, no body snarking, the nudity was simply a fact. And I loved it. Experiencing the banya changed my perception of nudity forever.
I’m not saying that everyone should be naked everywhere all the time – that’s just not practical or hygienic. I’m just saying that to me, nudity is not shocking or shameful. I don’t think nudity should be automatically sexualized and hidden from children’s eyes. I don’t mind that Lena Dunham is naked all the time. If I had my own TV show, I’d probably be naked a lot too.
People call nudity all sorts of things – gross, sexy, inappropriate, sinful, even “brave.” But really, it’s just “naked.” And I love it.
2/25/13
“Their eyes are still closed. That’s when they’re real easy to drown.”
-Matt H. on kittens