Sex and Liev Schreiber – Not Together, But I’ll Take It

Oh whoa baby, 2013 is going to be an awesome year.  Well, let me clarify – I don’t know about career or health or relationship wise, but 2013 is going to be an awesome year for watching Showtime.  Good enough.

This promo (and the half bottle of wine I’ve had this evening) has me so excited I can’t even take it.

First off, Masters of Sex is sure to bunch up the panties of prudes everywhere, and I love it when that happens, so bring it! Secondly, Lizzy Caplan is the star, so how can it not be amazeballs?  You GO Glenn Coco.  The show is also a historically set factual based drama – my fave!  It tells the tale of Dr. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, two pioneers in the science of human sexuality in the late 1950s.  Masters divorced his wife to be with Virginia, who was his “research assistant.”  How scandalous.

The second show, Ray Donovan, stars Liev Schreiber and Jon Voight as father and son badasses.  As Ray, Schreiber is a professional “fixer,” making problems disappear for L.A.’s rich and famous.  Liev is one of G&G’s number one studmuffins, so I’d probs watch it no matter the plot, but it actually looks pretty awesome in its own right.

I’m gonna have to stock up on peanut M&Ms and wine, because it looks like I have lots of TV time coming up.

I’m Supposed to Hate This Because I’m a Girl, But I Kinda Love It (NSFW)

Alright alright, objectification of women, rapey undertones, dead hooker jokes, whatevs.  The new L’Officiel Hommes cover has heard it all.  But that’s what you get for putting Benicio Del Toro holding a naked dead women on your cover.

But you know what?  I like it.  Partly because Del Toro is so smoking hot, and partly because I really enjoy nudity.  And men in tuxedos.  Listen, this is the cover of a French fashion magazine.  You know those fuckers are gonna try their best to be edgy.

Frankly, as a woman, I’m more offended by the extensive photoshopping performed on the naked dead girl than the fact that there even is a naked dead girl.  Except, judging by the fact that she’s got her arm around good ol’ Benny, and the way she’s holding her own head up,  she’s clearly not dead or unconscious.  She’s FINE people.  Thank you for your concern, but she’s obviously just overwhelmed by being held by Benicio and captivated by his smoldering stare.  If you ask me, that’s enough to make any woman go weak in the knees.  Good thing he was there to catch her.

They’ve “Got To Break Up”

Personally, I wouldn’t choose to announce a break-up via viral music video.  Granted, I only sing when I’m wasted, and don’t typically announce anything, but still.

Anyway, when it came time to end their 5 year relationship, Jonathan Mann and Ivory King took to their favorite medium – song.  Jonathan has been posting “a song a day” for years, (note that this song is titled #1435) so I guess it only makes sense.  While the eye makeup is weird and the dance is awkward, the song is pretty catchy and is already stuck in my head.  The couple says that they still love each other, and that rather than providing the catharsis they expected, performing the song actually made them feel worse.

It can’t be too bad though, rumor has it Jonathan’s already got back on the OkCupid horse.  Look out ladies, he’s on a baby-makin mission!

Getting Your Period in 1946

Wow, this video collaboration between Disney and Kotex is pretty amazing.  In a 10 minute animation, a motherly narrator explains to us what the heck is happening to our bodies.

And while, yes, it is 1946, so the girls in the video do a lot of housework and they can’t offer any actual sex education or say the word “pregnant,” I think it’s actually pretty progressive and informative for the time.  The video instructs girls to “live healthy every day” by drinking lots of water, eating fruit and leafy greens, and getting plenty of fresh air and exercise.

I especially enjoyed this advice on having your period: ”But don’t let it get you down. After all, no matter how you feel, you have to live with people. You have to live with yourself too! And once you stop feeling sorry for yourself and take those days in your stride, you’ll find it’s easier to keep smiling and even-tempered.” Amen!  It’s just part of life, like breathing and brushing your teeth, no need to retire to the fainting couch.

The video warns not to “dramatize yourself,” which modern ladies could definitely afford to hear.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

I hate a lot of things.  One thing I really hate is when people start a sentence with the words, “Give me,” or even worse, a rough “Gimme.”  As a barista I hear those words waaay more often than I would like.

“Gimme a large hot,” they grunt, throwing a couple crumpled up dollars on the counter.  Guys who address you with a “Gimme” are also at higher risk for calling you something like, “sweetie,” or “babydoll” when you hand them their drink.

All in all, it’s pretty gross.  Please, just put in the effort to utter a few extra syllables and form a full sentence when ordering your coffee.  Either that, or make up for your rudeness by tipping veerrryyy well.  You can call me anything if you toss a $10 in the tip jar.