So if you are cool, or have ever dreamed of being cool, you should be here too. The East Coast Beard and Mustache Championship, hosted by our very own Philadelphia Beard and Mustache Club.
With a cheesesteak crawl and pre-party at Tattooed Mom’s the night before, the boys are serving up a whole weekend of whiskerful fun. The event is all-ages, so feel free to bring the kiddies so they can see what they can one day aspire to. Tickets are available online for $12, or at the door for $15. Check out the website for more info, or if you are interested in competing.
We caught up with Mr. Biggins right after his photo shoot as Santa (the white is sprayed on, folks…) for the Philadelphia Beard and Mustache Club‘s upcoming “Beards & Babes” calendar (starring G&G.) As the co-founder and President of that fine establishment, we knew his beard had to be featured!
“When you use a beard, do you feel more qualified to be a leader of men?”
“Absolutely. It makes me the President, and a manlier man than the rest of the men out there.”
“And how long have you had your beard?”
“Three years exactly.”
We met up with Steve here at the Philadelphia Beard and Mustache Club‘s Beards and Babes calendar shoot. As you can see, he was all done up in his Cinco de Mayo finest.
“When you use a beard, is it easier to sneak across the border?”
“Oh yes, it’s like camouflage. The border patrol just can’t see me coming.”
“And how long have you been growing that fine specimen of a beard, Steve?”
“Three years. I used to trim it, but not anymore.”
Ladies and Gentleman, we bring you Rob Wanamaker, the graphic designer for our friends over at the The Philadelphia Beard and Mustache Club.
“When you use a beard, is it easier to convince the ladies that you’re part of the wealthy Philadelphia Wanamaker family?” (he’s not)
“Yes it is. I don’t want to lie though; I’m a fucking classy guy.”
“And how long have you been growing your beard?”
“I haven’t shaved completely since I was 18. I’m 25 now. I recently trimmed it though.”
“Do you believe that working in an organic environment such as Whole Foods helps cultivate your beard hair follicles?”
“No, it doesn’t have anything to do with it…I just need money.”
“And how long have you been growing your beard, Dan?”
“Hmmm….I’m trying to think the last time I shaved. I guess late spring? This is my summer beard.”
Not too shabby Dan, keep on growin, winter (aka prime beard snuggling season) is coming!
Most of G&G’s favorite man-pieces are already sporting facial hair. While we do not condone you dreamboats shaving just to participate in the Playoff Beard Contest, if you really want to, then give it a shot.
However, if you do happen do be a clean shaven gentleman, just wishing you had a reason to grow an awesome beard (besides the fact that it makes ladies swoon…!?) well then, today is your lucky day! One of G&G’s favorite spots, Varga Bar, is hosting a Playoff Beard Contest. It’s pretty simple really, (all the info is on the poster) but all you have to do is grow a beard. Whoever grows the longest beard, starting now until the Phils win the Series (we hope!!!) wins!
You have until October 1st to sign up, so don’t say we didn’t warn you. Now get your cute little hiney down to Varga at 10th & Spruce and starting growing baby!
Because this is a real show. That’s right, “Whisker Wars” premieres tonight at 11PM on IFC. For real for real. Hopefully, as a result, competitive bearding will finally get the respect and recognition it deserves.
Everyone knows that the love of facial hair is one of the tenets G&G was founded on. We love beards around here. We have been following The World Beard and Mustache Championships for years. We have interviewed many beardos in our day. We have mustache tattoos.
In short, this show will validate our passions and make our lives complete. *sigh* a lifetime of waiting, and only 8 more hours to go…
G&G somehow ended up with an extra shot of tequila last night, and what better use for it than to find a lovely beard to bestow it upon?
“Hi, we have a shot of tequila for you if…”
“Say no more,” says the beard as he downs the shot.
“Ok then. Anyway, we just wanted to ask you a few questions about your beard, and take a picture or two.”
“Ok, as long as this doesn’t end up on facebook, I have a girlfriend.”
“Sure, sure. So when you use a beard, do people just buy you shots of tequila all the time?”
“Nope, this was definitely a first, but I could get used to it.”
“How long have you been growing your beard?”
“About five months I guess.”
“Did you grow it for any certain reason?”
“I just felt like it. My girlfriend likes it. Girls love beards.”
That they do Andrew, that they do.
There are so few certainties in this life. We were all born, we will all die, G&G Girls are crazytown about beards…these are things we can always count on. And, unfortunately, one thing you can usually count on when you schmake out with a beard is beard burn. This is just a fact of life.
As certified beard aficionados, the Girls have schmade out with beards in every stage of their beautiful form. From the 5 o’clock shadow to a full on two-years worth of beard, we’ve got it all covered. And we’re not gonna lie – we think schmakin out with a scruffy cutie is worth a little beard burn.
If you’re really suffering though…well there are some things you can do. First off: moisturize moisturize moisturize! That goes for both of you. If your skin is dry, his stubble is just gonna do more damage. To soothe beard burn, use a healing ointment like Aquaphor or aloe like you would for a sunburn.
Also, we’ve found that if you work through the pain, your skin eventually just gets used to it. The human body is a miraculous thing.
The beard burn factor is also dependent upon what kind of facial hair we’re dealing with. Five o’clock shadows and a couple day’s worth of scruff are the worst offenders. Those short, prickly hairs are just so abrasive. I once had a scruffy guy pause mid-makeout to growl, “I’m gonna exfoliate the shit out of you.” Uh…whoa baby? No thank you.
A full-on beard is the best way to go. It’s like a built in cushion for your face! The longer the hair gets, the softer it is. Just like your legs – if you go long enough without shaving, that prickly stubble will turn into soft silky hair.
G&G’s not about to let a little beard burn get them down, and neither should you. We’re gonna keep smooching those beardos for life baby!
“When you use a beard, is it easier to clear your plate at mealtimes?”
“Yeah, definitely. It catches food.”
“Is there a certain type of food catches the best?”
“And how long have you been growing your beard?”
“Since October. I could grow a beard since 6th Grade.”
Wow. We bet Dave was one of the coolest cats on the playground. And as part of Philly grindcore band Fuck Face, he still is. You can check out Dirty Dave’s handiwork HERE