Category Archives: SPORTS

We Are Disappointed That Even Champion Athletes Feel They Need Big Boobs

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Misty May-Treanor (L) and Kerri Walsh Jennings get a lot of press.  Because not only are they champion athletes, but they are champion athletes in bikinis.

And you know what?  I don’t even mind that they decided to keep the bikinis and forgo the new volleyball uniform options, which allow them to wear shorts and t-shirts if desired.  Because I have so much admiration and respect for the work it takes to sculpt muscular bodies like theirs, and I would much rather all the men around me be drooling over a real, hard-working, healthy female body than a starving lingerie model with implants.

Except in a new interview with Allure magazine, Kerri really let me down when she admitted that she’s not so confident about (what I consider) her perfect body.  Talking about the uniform, she said, “Of course my tops are padded!”  Wait, “of course?!”  Why of course?  She also adds that she’s contemplating implants, and is currently feeling “60-40 against.”  Just for the record Kerri, G&G is “against” too.  Please don’t.

I know that we are all supposed to be honest about our insecurities and all that, and that it’s good for young girls to know that they are not alone in feeling fat/ugly/etc.  But c’mon.  It’s bad enough that 13 year olds are wearing not only push-up bras these days, but also push-up bikinis! It’s appalling!  And now we have one of our dearest Olympic athletes proclaiming that her natural breasts aren’t good enough.  That despite her amazing, muscular body, fake breasts would make it better.

Besides, wouldn’t larger breasts make all those awesome sand dives and other volleyball maneuvers more difficult?  Wouldn’t they get in the way?  She’s an athlete, and athletic bodies don’t naturally have large breasts.  Why?  Because breasts are fat, and athletes are muscle.  They just don’t go together.  So we are hoping that 60-40 split increases to 70-30, and then 80-20, until that implant temptation just disappears altogether, because Kerri, (and Misty) your bodies are incredible just the way they are.  And we need your help teaching all the young girls out there that same lesson.

It’s That Time Again!

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That’s right, it’s opening day for the Phillies, and you know we’re wearing our red underwear.  That means it’s also time for us to give you the heads up on the best promotions of the season.  Because we love the Phils, and we love free stuff, so what could be better than combining the two?  We’ll skip the lame ones, because no one really wants a magnet, right? And also the ones only for kids 14 and under, because they get all the best stuff and it’s depressing to see what we can’t have. It’s slim pickins this year folks, but don’t let it get you down.

Sunday May 8th (Mother’s Day) vs. Atlanta Braves, Phillies charm keychain

May 19th vs. Colorado Rockies, Phillies hat

 

 

 

 

 

September 16th, vs. St. Louis Cardinals, Phillies winter hat (we got one last year, but whatevs)

And we can’t forget Dollar Dog nights! Here’s the 2011 lineup:

April 18th, vs. Milwaukee Brewers

May 3rd, vs. Washington Nationals

May 23rd, vs. Cincinnati Reds

June 6th, vs. LA Dodgers

September 5th, vs. Atlanta Braves

September 19th, vs. St. Louis Cardinals

And that’s it.  That’s really all there is because we’re not huge fans of bobbleheads.  Oh well, you can’t win em all. (But the Phils better!)

 

We Wish We’d Written This…

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…we didn’t, but you should definitely read it.
Those charming ladies over at Lemondrop.com have compiled one of the most amazing lists we’ve ever seen. I mean, with a title like, “The World Cup of Men–Which Sport Has the Hottest Atheletes” you know it’s gonna be good. And you know what? It’s better than good. It’s genius. And comes with some great visuals…
Whoa baby.
The article lists the pros and cons of dating each type of athlete, as well as a picture of a “doable” member of each sport. For example, the pros of dating hottie swimmer Ryan Lochte up there? Muscular, chiseled, with shoulders wider than a redwood. The cons? Less body hair than a Chinese Crested. And who wants a dude who’s smoother than you?
True, true, but we’d still do him.
As well as the entire Italian soccer team…:
But aaaaaanyway…you should go check that article out. If you’re anything like us though, it’ll be the guys you’ll be checking out, not so much the witty commentary.

Aiming For Gold? Baby, I’d Dip You in Platinum

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As much as the G&G girls love watching people eat shit when they fall, they haven’t been glued to their T.V. sets watching the Olympics like the rest of the world. You could just take the excuse that we’re “too busy” or call us pathetic, depending on how well you know us.
However… tonight was a different story.
After indulging in some orange juice, a cinnamon roll, baked potato and some mushrooms eaten out of pure boredom, this G&G gal decided to pay attention to the flickering lights instead of dicking around on her laptop. And what did she see? (I hope you’re sitting down)

This tall glass of water is Bode Miller, the dreamboat who made skiing look enjoyable to not not only watch, but maybe to take up again. This Apline ski racer has already picked up a Bronze for the downhill competition and has four more sitting purdy at home from past Winter Olympics.
We’ve made it crystal clear that the G&G girls like a variety of male species, we think all ethnics are beautiful. But good god, Miller could make my icy heart melt with those beady mole like eyes. And with that iceberg sculpted bod… I’d prance around in those medals for him any day.
I can’t think of any woman who doesn’t like a man in uniform. And when it looks like it’s painted on, it’s love.
Our man is leading the combined race right now. And with his skills combined with our powerful love, of couuuuuurse he’s in the lead.
That’s one American I’ll be waving my flag proudly for.
Whoa baby!
UPDATE:
He must have felt the twu wove, because baby Bode just won the Gold!

EDIT: PENGUINS GROW BEARDS

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So this shows how miss-educated I am when it comes to hockey. The Detroit Red Wings didn’t win the Stanley Cup a couple of days ago, they won a playoff game. And today they actually LOST. My mistake, an anonymous reader also pointed it out. THE PITTSBURGH PENGUINS WON THE STANLEY CUP TODAY! ANNNNNNNDDDDDDD on top of that they threw a beard-a-thon cancer charity event for the big game. According to their website, they raised $105,644 for the Mario Lemieux Foundation. Fans grew beards of their own or could pledge on a Penguin beard.

The beardo above is Pascal Dupuis, who has in my opinion the best beard on the team. Plus he’s wearing a Gucci hat which makes him pure gold. Plus he’s French-Canadian. Plus he recently signed a three year contract. There’s a reason they pay these sports figures the big bucks. It’s cause they can grow a damn good beard. Pure and simple.

THIS IS INCORRECT, BUT I’M GOING TO STILL KEEP IT UP

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Well, well, well! G&G has seen a lot of WINNERS lately; Today the Detroit Red Wings won the Stanley Cup. I know, I know I should probably be a Debbie Downer right now cause a Pennsylvanian team lost, but I’m not gonna lie, despite the Canadian in me, I’ve never really watched hockey before. Now thanks to today’s game and being in Canada I can’t help but feel the spirit for the game. And with beards like these, it’s no wonder I’ve found an interest in the players…er…I mean sport. The two specimens above are Kris Draper (left) and Henrik Zetterberg of the Detroit Red Wings! Congrats boys! I can promise you that I’ll be watching you next season!