Guts & Glitter has been up and running for a little over 3 months now, and in that short amount of time we’ve made our likes and dislikes quite apparent. But you don’t have to be a dedicated reader to know what is near and dear to our hearts: Friendship, Males & Food (not particularly in that order.) So without further ado here is GUTS & GLITTER’S FIRST EVER MANLY AWARDS!
10.) BENICIO DEL TORO
Oh Benicio why must you not be mine? Oh, Benicio why must you fux with ScarJo from behind? Oh Benicio, you have that….je ne sais pas…You are so not blahhhhh.
9.) BEARDED NHL PLAYERS
A month and a half ago we blogged about these beardos, and ever since we can’t help but think about how grand our lives would be if we married one of them. Our children would be named something super Canadian like Molsen or Joni and they’d have excellent athletic and sportsmanship skills (NOT!!!!). But still, life would be sweet. We’d have some ballin’ pad in North Vancouver, cause that’s where all his hockey buds would live as well with all their hockey-boy/girl-genius children. And then after all of that he’d take you to Lil’ Pete’s in Philadelphia and buy you breakfast at 2:45AM after he just scored a bajilllion like points and what not against the Flyers. It’d be sweet.
8.) E. JULIAN O’HARAE.J. is the Guts & Glitter male mascot. He has a plethora of shmotes, he karaokes like it’s his job (is it his job?) and he’s always down for a beer, movie, oysters, dawn ananda, hugs, high five, dance…pretty much any and everything. Thanks EJ for being our main man!
7.)BIKE MESSENGERS
They smell like sweet sweet sweet sweet sweat, have beards so tough they could make a grown steel wool cry, make pretty much no money, are judgmental of everyones bike and get at least 5 missed connections a day. What’s not to love?
6.)BUBBIE a.k.a. JON (left)
Jon’s the kind of guy that will build you a bike in one day with his bare hands then snuggle while watching “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”. A G&G girls ultimate dreamboat. Figures he’s already snagged by one of us (Karen, center).
5.) DON DRAPER
So we know that GQ, Vanity Fair and every other major and minor publication has already hailed Jon Hamm (plays Don Draper on AMC’s MAD MEN) as the ultimate being, but we’re hear to reiterate that thought. We can’t even tell you if Jon Hamm is a sweet dude in real life or not, but Don Draper is one dapper dude. To quote “Bring it On”, Don Draper “is the shit, so take a big whiff!”
4.) RALPH S. a.k.a. PINKBIKERALPH
Unbeknownst to him, Ralph is somewhat of a local hero around the Guts & Glitter parts. Maybe it’s because he makes and wears shirts like the one above. Maybe it’s cause he really does love fun. Or maybe it’s because he’s a karaoke supestar who is a bartender on the side. Whatever it is, thanks Ralph! Your good deeds have not gone unnoticed.
3.) GOOD DOG BAR & IT’S EMPLOYEES & PATRONS
If there ever was a bar that was the gateway to a revolving door of men that fawned after G&G girls, Good Dog Bar in Philadelphia would be it. Did that make sense? Doesn’t matter. Point being if Good Dog were a man, he’d be the type of beardo that would spoon you all night, then at 3:45am he’d be like, “Hey most beautiful jammin’ gurrrl in the world, can I make you one of these?” And you’d be like “DUH!!” Then he’d go ride his bike to Fresh Grocer (cause you know he lives in West Philadelphia and it’s open 24/Sev), buy the best ingredients, grill that shit up, then go back to cuddling.
2.) MICHAEL CERA
This is what the Ultimate Dreamboat looks like. And this Ultimate Dreamboat likes nerdy Asian girls, awkward humor and orange tick tacks. Did we mention he’s Canadian? Which probably means he watches hockey and cause he’s famous and all he probably knows NHL players. Not that that matters or anything cause NHL players are #9 on the list and Mickey here is #2!
AND
DRUMROLL
PLEASE…..
1.) BONER PARTY
This entire post was birthed in thanks to Ned over at Boner Party. And man do I love the combo of “birthed” and “boner party” in the same sentence. I don’t even know if G&G would exist without Boner Party. If I were to ever meet Ned, I would probably spend the preceding two weeks getting reconstructive surgery that made me into a half Zooey Deschanel, half Daisy Lowe look a like. All that time, pain and money for you Ned! You da’ best!
