It was another weekend at the Jersey shore… orange skin, greezy muscles and crunchy hair. Alas, we couldn’t help but notice a couple of new emerging trends the G&G ladies wanted you to know about first:

1. Belly Chains: Or, a necklace for your stomach. Keep it sassy, ladies… this is the new belly button ring.

2. Cigars: Preferably, you should puff puff on this sucker while speaking at the same time. True talent.

3. Teeny weenie bathing suits for the not so teeny: You know what we’re talking about.

4. Announcing disgusting stories about your body: “I sliced my arm open so bad that the tendons were spilling out! I wrapped it in that saran wrap so the oozin’ would stop but what was I gonna do!? I was in Kennett Square with all those mushroom people!”

5. And lastly… Personalized Tattoos: Slap the names of all your ladies, pets or hobbies all over your biceps, caramel brown chest and tush. What does your tat say about you?

Ew.My tat says “I’m the motha fuckin Superman champ”

And there you have it- this summer’s hottest trends for beaching it up. You’re welcome!

Now… don’t get caught being ugly.